Wishful Thinking

Wishful thinking is the formation of beliefs and making decisions according to what might be pleasing to imagine instead of by appealing to evidence, rationality, or reality.


All these while being with you, I always thought you have already moved on from her, not meaning you totally forgot abt her and the times you had with her but in the sense that you have accepted the fact that she isn’t part of your life anymore and have either talked abt it with someone and stuff. Apparently this is all just wishful thinking on my part, didnt even look for the signs that you are not over her and I am just here like a rebound but not a rebound. Hurts like hell discovering it this way, especially after all this. Thought we would have amounted to something promising but noo, ain’t even being given a chance for it actually it’s more of you not giving yourself chances for it. Sucks so much right now. I asked about her and all you could say is 5 years leh. I mean if you told me all these earlier like you still have her picture in your wallet, it wouldn’t have hurted so much *i think*  Think of it like this, what would you have felt if you know I’m still keeping a picture of me and my ex in my wallet and then replied you the same thingyou replied me. WHat would you have felt? maybe nothing at all i guess. Won’t be suprised.

You never want to talk about yourself, whenever i ask you’ll just direct it back to me and this is also my fault, i talk alittle too much with people im comfortable with. It sucks knowing that i know nothing about you and can’t get you to talk. While you know my past, the part of me no one else knows about. Sucks alot. And you do know me, you know how easily I can break even though I don’t show. Now I’m telling you, I’m breaking. I’m reaching my limit. It’s gonna be the end. I don’t think I’ll live till my graduation haha. Doubt anyone would even realise this, cos I’m everybody’s little optimistic girl, always trying to spin a bad situation into a good one. Maybe everyone will realise it too late and when they realise it, it will be at my funeral seeing me lying there all battered and bruised or maybe you wont even see me cos im too splattered to be shown…



Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone

What are you more comfortable with — routine and planning, or laissez-faire spontaneity? 

Heyyy sorry I’ve been MIA for so long. Just got wrapped up in my own things and had some complications with a filling I did not long ago till now I still have a swollen upper lip from some infection or something.

Anyways, back to the topic. I am more comfortable when there is a routine but that doesn’t mean I am not comfortable with spontaneity. I am comfortable with both. Personally, I kind of need a routine so that I’ll be more discplined and do the work I’m supposed to. Like this blog, ideally I should update like at least 3 times a week or at least that was what i told myself before creating this blog. But as you all can see, I am not doing that. I am not even updating it once every week. Seriously need to have a routine to be extra productive. But I hate having to plan my activities haha so I am contridicting myself but that’s me and I ain’t changing unless Prince Charming came along and decided to stay in my life hahaha

Though routine makes me more productive, I can’t be bound to a place for long. I’ll get really restless and yet exercise isn’t something for me haha very bad asthma even at this age. So no vigrous exercise for me…

That’s all now guys the pain medications I’ve gotten from the doc makes me drowsy so yea haha byeeee. Love ya:)


Where’s Home?

There’s No Place Like Home

If you had the opportunity to live a nomadic life, traveling from place to place, would you do it? Do you need a home base? What makes a place “home” to you?

Hey… This is my first ever post and to me, this is all still pretty weird and new to me especially writing on a platform this public. I only did my writings all in my journals.

This question is something I’ve been thinking about for the past few years. I would really want to be able to travel from places to places experiencing different things for myself, especially those places you’ve seen in magazines and online. Man, I would give up so many things just to be able to do that comfortably. Onto the next question about needing a home base, yeaa I would want a home base. A place where I am able to hang up all the pictures and things gotten from each different places I’ve been to, a place to also hang up all the passports that I filled up with stamps from going to different countries.

What makes a place “home”? Home is where the heart is… haha. To me, it can be any place where I feel like I can leave everything down and just relax comfortably. Actually, the place I would really call home is where I am right now, in my own country and in this current residence I am living in. I’ve been living in this place all my life, and this really would be a place I will forever call my home.

Anyways, that would be all for now. I can’t think of anything else to write haha still not comfortable writing here hahah. But I would do my best to slowly build my confidence. Thanks for reading this:)